I am utterly dominated by Road to Empress. Absolutely, one hundred percent its servant. The fact that it’s $8.49 is completely nuts. I got that much value out of it a long time ago. Plus, when I’m Empress, eight fifty won’t mean shit. Eight fifties will fall at once, all around me, like the golden leaves of the Maidenhair Tree.
It’s my own fault I’m in this mess: we’d made a comic about how FMV was “dum,” and because I suffer from Reasonability Syndrome I was compelled to find several counterexamples to my own argument and then purchase them.
If it were in English, about something my own forebears had accomplished even in an exaggerated way, I wouldn’t be as subject to it. I got hurt in the game, and the physician told me not to eat spicy or cold foods. What? What the fuck? Every five minutes I find a new rabbit hole. I’d never heard of an Imperial Chinese Harem until the FTX trial. I wouldn’t last five seconds in that environment, as the game has proven time and time again. I don’t want to say too much, except that it’s a costume drama played completely straight, except for the moments where time stops and you get to pick what happens next. The type of shit they get up to in The Unfathomable Palace is not for the weak of heart. I can’t believe the shit they got me wrapped up in.
I bought it to play with my youngest, because we played a game called As Dusk Falls that is one of our favorites. Very Choose Your Own Adventure, Choice Matters type shit. This is that, plus gruesome deaths in the vein of old Sierra adventure games, all in 4k UHD. The trailer sold me hard by implying a meta approach, but inside the game proper that sort of thing is quite rare. It’s an awesome trailer, though:
I tried my best to pitch it to Mork, Son of Mogh, but not being able to summon a robotic battlesuit from an orbital battery was a dealbreaker for him. Alas.
(CW)TB out.
